Jarrid Wison, a pastor, husband, author and preacher had an interesting article that got me thinking.Before I spew my thoughts, have a read of what he posted;
On Jarrid’s blog post titled, “I’m Dating Someone Even Thought I’m Married,” he writes:
“I have a confession to make. I’m dating someone even though I’m married.
She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.
Sometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.
Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?
Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.
I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.
Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.
When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.
I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”
– Jarrid Wilson”
Simply touching. I have fallen in love with that couple. I read that post and I instantly knew the description of what I have always been looking for. I knew I always wanted my relationships and future marriage to be more than the usual drudgery or a consequence of obligation, but I never knew how to describe it for I didn’t have a template to read from. Now I do. I want exactly what Jarrid and wife have. That is what we call working at a relationship. People fight all the time over sharing of household chores, when they can’t remember the last time your partners smile made your heart skip a beat. People heckle over who will change the baby’s diapers when they can’t remember the last time they had some time alone to talk and enjoy their company.
If people have to fight, they should fight for love. The only true magic in this world is that which lights up your heart and makes this life worth living. Life can be a tedious bore when it becomes a series of repetitive events. When the magic fades out of it, then reason ceases to exist. Mindless ritual pales in comparison to heartfelt devotion. Even the Lord himself detests it.
When it was said that two shall become one, I know it was not only in reference to their physical beings. If you fuse in emotion, in mind, in will and in direction, there will be no dull day. Each step will be in unison and each curve ball thrown will be handled together. That is true union. No ponnies and fairytales but companionship, loyalty and love. Pure unadulterated love. When all these things are in place, the other factors will automatically fall into place. Sex life, chores, in-laws, work and finances will no longer seem as daunting as before. It’s a spiral that begins with the correct foundation. Once the momentum is set, there is little that can stop them.
Such relationships do exist and they can exist. Blame the over commercialization of ‘dramatic’ relationships which are in essence bad relationships that treat companionship as a necessary stage of life like puberty. Puberty is inevitable but relationships are choices. Your’s will only be as good as you choose to make it. I choose to make mine divine.