On a scale of one to mad, I’d be afraid to rank myself lest I spook you into running away from my blog. But in many definitions, I will probably not fall under the usual bracket. I’m not priding myself of superhuman abilities or extraordinary gifts like an ego the size of an elephant’s ass. No. I’m afraid I’m rather the boring unusual type. Boring in that I would probably not be a best-selling thriller movie but I would definitely be your trusty friend with an opinion wit from last century and with their head stuck in the clouds.
Why do I choose to start my post with an incomprehensible bio of myself? I don’t know. When I find out I will surely fill you in. I just had the urge to do so. Well, I have been making some changes (as I always seem to be doing these days) and I just made one that will probably be the hardest to pull off. I have just listened to a series of pod casts that have totally flipped my understanding and approach of relationships.
I was just cruising through my laptop trying to sample the stuff I have saved in it that I had not got round to reading or watching. It’s amazing how much content you download or save in your laptop and forget that it even exists. The classic case of good intentions but a gold fish memory. Yea right! Blame the memory and you’re probably the one with the will of a toddler to take charge and consciously do something to better yourself. You know I’m right but I should probably not gloat in your face because it’s in bad taste. Gloat!
So anyway, I found this four part series on the New rules of Love, Sex and dating from the North Community church by pastor Andy Stanley. To say the least, I have finally found my bearing when it comes to relationships. Have you always that feeling that you are running blind in your relationships and you need a pointer to know where you are going or what you are doing? I have felt that all the time. I have always had the fear that what I grew up seeing at home will reappear in my own life, and to be honest, a bit of it has. Most of the time, if we live our relationships on autopilot following our instincts and gut feelings, we will usually end up curving the same path we have experienced, be it unpleasant or not. That’s why I am so thankful for the series.
In a nutshell, the series dispelled the notion of waiting for or searching for the right one. It instead emphasizes on becoming the person that the person you are looking for is looking for. Make sense? Think of it this way. The person you hope for has a set of ideals and traits. Will that person want to look for you just as you are? Will they see you and see eternity or move on to the next person? The truth is that many of us have set a very high bar for our future life partner but we fail to meet the requirements or have the traits that they would love too. This point hit me hard. It was absolutely true. Not that I am not quite a catch as is, but the super human traits I require of my future hubby require me to be a super woman in my own right.
Pastor Andy also went on to challenge people to take one year no dating challenge to renew their minds. Sincerely speaking, I winced at this one. But you know what, I accepted it. On 5th December 2013, I made the vow to go one year without dating to re-evaluate myself and consciously work on myself and my ability to commit. It will be no easy pie but when God is with me, who can be against me? I have also decided to document my progress. On the 5th of each month, I will write about where the deliberate single journey has taken me.
Walk with me on this and then if you’d like to join me, let me know in the comment box below. I could also share the videos with you if you would like them. Please leave a comment below if you would me to send it to you.
Great relationships do not fall from heaven or appear from nowhere. They are results of deliberate work, conscious choices and calculated steps. Be intentional about becoming the person that the person are looking for would want. Cheers!