Smile before you scream

23 May

I am actually serious and no I am not crazy.

Take a trip with me and think of the time when you had a bad day and it just kept on getting worse. Trust me i have had my fair share of those. Just yesterday, i felt like i could cry. Wait, i did cry. I have a high tolerance to tough situations and normally, I would just sail through hard times without having a melt down. But those were not one of those days. I think its the pressure theory. You can only handle so much pressure inside and when you have reached capacity, it has to come out or something will short circuit. I am too young to succumb to life and so i occasionally allow myself the misery of letting it all out and having a breakdown.

You see, yesterday, I dedicated the day to sending out CVs to various places in the hope of landing myself a job to keep me occupied until school resumes. I will tell you first hand that looking for your first job is a job in itself. Not just any ordinary job but them jobs that people get tons of money as hardship allowance, only that you don’t get a cent. In fact, you make cyber owners and internet service providers go in business.That’s probably why there are so many jobless people around. It is a great test of patience and resilience to keep trying and you feel like you are barking at a wall. So anyway, i sent about eight applications then Kenya(lack of) Power strikes and the lights decided to go on a convenient walk to nowhere. I left and went to drop my CVs personally at some places but when i got there, my nerves got the better of me and i couldn’t budge from where i was standing. I tried strolling around to calm my nerves but in all in vain. I ended up just boarding a matatu and going back home. What an anti climax. Later, a friend of mine started texting me at night and we were catching up. As i was waiting for a response, i logged on to Facebook. The internet was too slow so I decided to switch off the phone and give it a few moments to reboot. When i wanted to switch it back on, i realized that i had no idea what my Sim Card pin was. I felt like dying! For a serial textaholic like me, it is a very big deal when the phone is off and i have not had my daily share of late night texting.I tried recalling and guessing all the codes that i could and all i managed to do was to get my Sim blocked. That was when the big M happened. MELTDOWN! I cried and lamented how my life is unfair and why these things had to happen to me…

When i look back at yesterday, all I see is what a drama queen i have evolved to be. Nothing catastrophic like the dog dying or my hair being rained on had happened so i was probably crying for other reasons beside my little Sim card incident. Today has been a lovely day and the good Lord has smiled down on me. I got my sim unblocked for free by a nice guy and I went or some auditions in town. I was fortunate to enter the room with some guys who were clearly famous because the auditioning panel said that they didn’t have to audition them because they already knew their work. That played out wonderfully for me as they looked at me favorably because i was with big shots. I did my thing and left the building. As far as am concerned, I did well and i am waiting for that call back.

Today I woke up with a positive attitude and I prayed to God to give me a good day. I could have carried on yesterday’s gloom because i was still ‘mteja’ in the morning but i chose to smile and have a nice day. So when you want to lament and say what a drag life has become, hold you tongue and smile! Fate and the forces that be are not that cynical, trust me.

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Posted by on May 23, 2012 in Uncategorized


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